so that wasnt chicken after all
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Let's get the cat blown out
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Randomize
