quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Then you guys just all showered together...?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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