Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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