He asked to "fluff my boner.."
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize