he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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