dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
