Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
