At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You left your phone here
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