do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
