My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I think I sprained my soul last night
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize