i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
