what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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