come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
She swung at the pinata with crutches
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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