I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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