I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
