Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
