you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
