I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.