Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.