Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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