I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Randomize
