is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
