Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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