I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
