The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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