So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
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