i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
