I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
