she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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