I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
