You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
