Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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