one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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