I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize
