Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
