I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
