So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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