Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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