The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
