I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
