we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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