Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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