We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
