Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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