So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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