I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
