they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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