he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
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