I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Randomize
