also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Two words: blizzard sex
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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