Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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