youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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