Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
