so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
