is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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