hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
