alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
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Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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