I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
