he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
