based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
