do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
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