I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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