sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
