I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
