naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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